I founded the Psychic Amigo Network at $4.99 an hour you get a great psychic reading.

Well, it's day 45 of my recent unfortunate incarceration and I've already come up in the world.  I've been moved to a larger cell on the penthouse level, they have installed a bank of phones, fax and copy machines and the warden just delivered my new personal computer and laser printer.  I don't think I'm going to get the hot tub but I can order from the warden's menu and I'm getting cloth napkins and fresh cut flowers with every meal. 

     The warden is allowing me to use the phones for a little 900 number enterprise I've started.  More about my new business later.  

     You should remember that I kidnapped 127 print buyers, held them hostage for nearly four months in return for a 20% across the board hike on all printing prices, and finally the feds stormed "Hostage Central", captured me and I was delivered forthwith to a maximum security cell here at the federal pen.

     All this happened because my Don Quixote nobility got the best of me and I thought I could help printers improve their margins with a price increase.

     I managed to get all these benefits because, while vacuuming the prison administration offices, I caught Warden Hightower in a compromising position with his secretary, Wanda Douhit.  The warden's strapping wife of 30 years, the fine Miz Hightower, is a pillar of the Baptist church and the warden was persuaded to offer me some better accommodations and the courtesy of founding a new business behind prison walls.

     And, boy, am I proud to announce my new business in these pages. 

     It's called "The Manana Man's Psychic Amigo Network." 1-900-976-MONY. You must be over 18 to call at $4.99 per minute.

     Now printers all over this great US of A can get a psychic reading for their businesses by calling me on the MONY line.   I use crystals and tarot cards and all the stuff the other psychics use.  Mainly, however, I push on my temples real hard until I conjure up a reading for your company.  I ask some printers to hug their six color press whilst I do the conjuring.  This long distance hugging helps the energy flow while I delves deep into the sixth level of the primordial extrasensory vortex of the Gutenberg rapture (This is high level psychic talk that you can't possibly understand.  Hope it turned you on to calling).